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Monthly Archives: August 2012

#44: Joyful Chaos

Life is very, very busy. Partly by design, since I want to do *everything* with the kids, partly because two kids are hectic. Comparing things now to the way things were last year reminds me how much has changed.

Last year, I came back to work from maternity leave, after Alex had died and life was hard. I had problems concentrating on tasks for long periods of time and seeing people everyday was a challenge, especially if they didn’t know that Alex had died.

Contrast that to life at work now: I am interested in all the projects we are working on, optimistic about all the things we have coming up, and truly excited when I see people in the hall. So different.

Life outside of work is crazy and busy. Not busy in the same hectic way all parents feel. Busy in the way life is when you have a baby and a toddler in the house. Lots of tasks. Bottles to wash, burp cloths to fold, diapers to buy. Not problem solving hard in the way buying a training bra for a t’ween might be, but busy with lots of things that need to be done, busy with things that can’t wait.

Molly is almost three months old and I can’t bring myself to complain or lament about how busy things are. The absence of tasks after Alex died was so crushing, I vowed to appreciate all the things that come with having a baby, if I ever had the chance again.

So, I spend my days immersed in work and my nights immersed in kids. Life is so busy that I watched about 10 minutes total of the Olympics, and despite my best efforts, I can’t seem to get more than 7 hours of sleep. Too much laundry to fold, bottles to wash and mail to sort through.

I never realized how much joy came from changing a poopy diaper until I didn’t have that as an option anymore…

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Posted by on August 23, 2012 in Uncategorized